Headspace

A year of micro poems [One a Day]

esceulus — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 00:51:16 +0000

At some point at the tail-end of 2011 I entered into a poetry deal with the devilish Helen Williams (@nellsberry on Twitter). The deal, as far as I understood it, was to write a short poem each day for the month of January. This seemed like a fun idea, one that would provide a welcome distraction from copy-writing. It turns out that the deal I agreed too was actually one that lasted for a lot longer than the 31 days of January… 11.774 times longer than that month*. *^{to 3 decimal points of verity}

So here we are at the beginning of a year of micro-poetry. 365 different poems, each on a specially chosen topic. For my part I’ll be posting all of my micro-poems on my Tumblr account [Headspace], which is a nicer place to share content than this current WordPress site, but I’ll link to them all here:

We’ll be choosing a different theme each day and Helen will be accepting suggestions on Twitter or on her post about our challenge.

1st January – Hungover

2nd January – Resolutions

3rd January – Three

4th January – Pets

5th January – Sleep [and one extra variant on the theme of Sleep]

6th January – Late

7th January – Country Life

8th January – David Bowie

9th January – Fireplace

10th January – Addiction

11th January – Chess

12th January – Cycling

13th January – End of the Working Week (here’s a longer poem on the same theme and here’s an audio version)

14th January – Memory

15th January – Broom

16th January – Monday

17th January – Juice

18th January – Toes

19th January – Lettuce

20th January – Olympics

21st January – Danger

22nd January – Canopy – and a related poem called Two nights

23rd January – Bravery – and a longer poem on the same theme

24th January – Molehills

25th January – Hospital

26th January – Raindrops on the road and a related poem: Puddles and weeds

27th January – Teeth

28th January –

29th January –

30th January –

31st January –

Apparently there’s a job called ‘floater’…

esceulus — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 01:14:43 +0000

I’ve just been chatting to a friend from New York. For the past two years she’s been doing her best to get a job in the casting section of the media, theatre and film industry. She’s built up an incredible resume: running her own productions for kids’ groups, volunteering at impressive theatres and gaining invaluable experience with casting groups in the big city by interning and shadowing executives. The problem with those things is that, well, they don’t pay often, and when they do they don’t pay well (if at all).

Things changed for her today.

When she woke up she found an email from one of the largest casting agencies in the US offering her a job. It’s her first properly paid step on the ladder, and I’m possibly even more thrilled than she is (I have a big thrill gland). There’s just one problem… the job title.

She’s been hired as a ‘floater‘, which, in English means junior assistant. In cartoon terms, it means I had to make the following:

Just a little something I made on .ppt

Disposable poppies

esceulus — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 10:41:20 +0000

OK. Here goes.

If you’ve lost someone during combat you remember them every day of the year. Every uniform you see makes you think of them and every bugle call you hear pulls at your heart. While it’s nice to see the bandwagon filling up, don’t just jump off when today is over. If you really care go down to your local British Legion office and see what you can do to really help those that are left behind when a soldier falls.

Over.

The Quotebowl comes to Twitter

esceulus — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 00:54:15 +0000

Words have always meant a lot to me. From the first poem I remember remembering [When I Was Three - Richard Edwards] to cutting out interesting phrases from newspapers – and occasionally my mom’s books – when I first discovered scissors. My fascination with the way words can impact and influence humans has never wavered, and I hope it stays with me . Back in 2009, instead of concentrating on adding the finishing touches to a dissertation on “Comparative national responses to the UNCRC” I created a thing called ‘the Quotebowl’.

I took all of my random scraps of paper and notebooks, on which quotes were kept, and put them together in a container: In simplicity it was a glass bowl, the type used normally for fruit cocktails, with pieces of paper in it. The pieces of paper were folded delicately into set shapes, and inside each piece of folded paper was a quote, signed by the person that contributed it to the collection.

When friends visited my house they would add a quote to the bowl, and so it grew. There are now over 400 quotes in the selection and it’s time it found its way onto the internet.

In October 2011 I began using the hashtag #quotebowl to bring a select few of the quotes out into the open. Louisa McNally and Helen Williams both joined in and their contributions have since been added to the pile.

I’ve now decided to set up a Twitter account for the Quotebowl (surprisingly enough @Quotebowl ), in the hope that this collection will bring to the interwebs the pleasure it has brought to me, and perhaps, the annoyance it has brought to some of my friends and ex-girlfriends.

Toodles.

Hellena Williams – a parody

esceulus — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 09:16:51 +0000

Early in October, when we were both in desperate need of food, Helen Williams and I were out hunting. With wallets and cash in hand we adventured into the normally bountiful area of Planet Organic. After capturing a bowl of roast potatoes and curry and snaring a calzone we sat down to devour our catch and have a natter.

During this conversation an agreement was reached, we would both set up parody Twitter accounts for each other. The offiicial rules of paradyfun are being drafted, and will appear here soon.

People of the interwebs, I give you Hellena Williams, or @Hellsberry.

On Social Networks and Grief; a prelude to the Social Death

esceulus — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 02:02:24 +0000

Steve Jobs has just died, or at least, at the time of starting this post his death had just been announced.

As the hours tick on (from just before 1am GMT) your Twitter streams and Facebook feeds will fill up with outpourings of faux-grief. Countless cast-offs of sympathy glossed with occasional references to how much Apple has revolutionised product marketing*.

But stop. Why are people expressing grief? None of the people I’m connected to on Facebook have met, or indeed corresponded with Steve Jobs. They’re not 2nd degree connections to the chap (and I mean in real life here not LinkedIn). But here we are, one hour into the news and already an extra 16,000 people have liked his Facebook page [at 01:31 GMT 380,124 Facebook accounts had liked his page]. Of the increasingly whittled down number of contacts I have on Facebook, within one hour of the news breaking 11% of them had created a status that has some form of outpouring of grief towards the former Apple CEO. This is at 1am in the morning for most of them.

I’d like to explore the reasons why people look to announce (not share) their feelings of faux-grief, and it is fake. I’ve had friends die – and by friends I mean people I would speak to on a daily basis, not acquaintances on a social network - and I’ve seen other friends and family members express their grief publicly on the recently dead’s profile. A situation I plan to write about in a few weeks time. But this is a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SITUATION.

We’re talking about the death of a celebrity, or at least in this instance a very intelligent person that rose to fame following success in an exceptionally competitive and mentally challenging environment. (This is different from the majority of celebrity deaths). That said, all of the people expressing sorrow at his passing DIDN’T KNOW THE GUY.

Each of the Steve Jobs related messages I’ve seen tonight on FB can be put into one of the following categories:

The news-breaker: that is, people post Steve Job’s death in order to demonstrate that they found out first
The brand loyalist: Apple fanboys/fangirls want another excuse the reference their favourite gadget maker
The joker: looking for a chance to push something funny that they’ve just written about a topical event
The lemming: The person that opens up Facebook and thinks *ohh, everyone else has said something, might as well put “omg, Steven Job is ded, RIP” (note that the lemming comes with typing errors built-in as standard)
The cover-intellectual: Announces the death with a quote from the deceased, normally found following a quick Google search

Being honest, I’m in there as case study #2; my pun for the event:

To mark the passing of Steve Jobs, Apple has announced its next product will be called the 'RiPhone'

Not one of the people I know/follow/am ‘friends’ with/ list/ subscribe to – or any other form of social media jargon – has at any point said anything profound about the death of this chap, apart from Paul Cunliffe & @MediocreDave who have both looked to draw attention to the disgracefully unethical employment practices at Apple. And that is what’s worrying; excluding these two and Eva, everybody else I know who has commented or written anything about Steve Jobs seems to have fallen into a cult of celebrity.

-There’s something exceptionally wrong with individuals that expresses such disjointed and disposable outpourings of grief for a celebrity but have no compassion or capability of care for the concerns and welfare of children and adults in their own communities.-

Truth be told, there are two sad things that have happened:
1) a man has died, and every death is tragedy
2) In the time it’s taken you to read this post, 541** people have died around the world. Ask yourself, did you know their names, do you care? Or do you only care about the ones that bring you shiny new gadgets…

In the hour it’s taken me to put this together Steve Jobs’ Facebook page has jumped from 380,124 likes to 476,660. It’s amazing what death will do for your popularity.

_____________________________________________________________

*Because really, that’s all they’ve revolutionised. Steve Jobs and his team at Apple know how to bring an aesthetically pleasing product to market and make it sell, the iPod wasn’t a revolution – we had Creative players that stored more, were smaller and didn’t come with disgraceful earphones; the iPad wasn’t a technological breakthrough, the tech was already there. The iPhone is the only possible marked improvement offered, but even that failed to perform its most important function (being a phone). Tablet PCs were around 6 years before the iPad arrived, they just flogged them better; and Macs were hardly revolutionary in tech terms, they just looked pretty and didn’t get wiped by viruses.

** Based on the Population Reference Bureau’s ‘2010 World Population Data Sheet statistics‘. Assuming an average read time of 5 minutes.

Skeletal Winged Duck and Friend

esceulus — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 22:44:01 +0000

At the end of September, while wandering through Cliffold Park in Stoke Newington (London) with friends, I came across a duck floating in the water. A typical duckish thing to do. Nothing out of the ordinary there. Well, the thing was, this duck wasn’t your run of the mill mallard. It was dishevelled, slightly malnourished and had a zombieish look which was completed by a skeletal wing. At some point this duck must’ve been attacked by an over eager inquisitive trout or perhaps a cat with a feather fetish and a hydrophilic tendency.

The most interesting thing about this zombie duck was the company it kept, a large white duck very similar to the duck from Friends. The two of them would traipse around the lake together with the white duck keeping other birds away from the zombie.

Newsnight’s response to David Starkey complaint

esceulus — Thu, 18 Aug 2011 07:57:08 +0000

August 12, London. David Starkey, a widely regarded idiot who happens to enjoy chatting about old stuff (Historian) and making outlandish social connections, said a few idiotic things on Newsnight. People complained to the BBC, some found it racist, some couldn’t understand why Starkey was invited onto the show at all. Others just find him as an individual to be offensive, they say that his presence on their television screens induces the uncontrollable urge to vomit (a quality also attributed to serial sexual predator Nadine Dorries).

Here’s the BBC’s response in full:

Dear Mr Proctor

Thank you for contacting us regarding ‘Newsnight’, broadcast on Friday 12 August.

We understand some viewers felt David Starkey’s contribution to the discussion on the England riots was inappropriate and racially offensive. We note some viewers also felt Dr Starkey’s views were not sufficiently challenged by presenter Emily Maitlis.

Firstly, it is important to stress that Dr Starkey’s views are his alone and not those of ‘Newsnight’ or the BBC. It is part of ‘Newsnight’s remit to air and challenge controversial views and we believe his perspective on the riots was robustly challenged during the course of this discussion.

The aim of this, at times heated, ten minute debate was to examine the causes of the recent riots and looting and in many ways it encapsulated different strands of opinion, both ideologically and socio-economically, as to what provoked the violence. Presenter Emily Maitlis directly challenged David Starkey’s views on a number of occasions, asking: ‘Is black culture the cause of the rioting?’ and ultimately ending the discussion by asserting that Dr Starkey was ‘using black and white cultures interchangeably as good and bad’.

Aside from Emily Maitlis’ interjections, guests Owen Jones and Dreda Say Mitchell clearly took exception to David Starkey’s opinions and were given ample time and space to make their disagreements heard. Owen Jones particularly highlighted that many people listening would find the views expressed offensive, and Emily Maitlis provided further context – making it clear that David Cameron had stated that this was not a race issue, and that people taking part in the riots came from a range of ethnic backgrounds.

Although some viewers found David Starkey’s arguments offensive, others agreed with them. It is not ‘Newsnight’s’ job to censor the views of our guests; the programme would rather challenge them in a robust way on air, and allow viewers to draw their own conclusions. We believe this discussion was conducted in a fair and professional manner.

Please be assured your concerns were raised with the programme.

Thank you again for taking the time to contact us.

www.bbc.co.uk/complaints

NB This is sent from an outgoing account only which is not monitored. You cannot reply to this email address but if necessary please contact us via our webform quoting any case number we provided.

Kind Regards

BBC Audience Services

Ken Clarke, Stabbing Burglars, and the connundrum of Hackers / Online Data Thieves.

esceulus — Fri, 01 Jul 2011 00:33:58 +0000

On Wednesday the 29th of June Kenneth Clarke (our dearly beloved Europhile Conservative Justice Secretary) announced that an act of Parliament would be used to clarify the law and make it clear that:

“If an old lady finds she has got an 18 year-old burgling her house and she picks up a kitchen knife and sticks it in him, she has not committed a criminal offence and we will make that clear.”

(Quoted in the Telegraph)

This poses an interesting question. What about hackers / data thieves? If it’s O.K. to stab a burglar ( someone who illegally gains enters to my property with the intent of stealing my property) is it therefore, by extension, O.K. to stab a data-hacker (who illegally gains entry to my property with the intent of stealing my property) with the nearest blade?

When the act of Parliament hits the record it’ll be worth looking at the law to see if it could possibly be stretched to contain a sound defence for somebody that manages to send a knife across the internet and stab a hacker mid-hack.

If the law was fine with hackers being stabbed, how would we go about stabbing them at the same time as they were hacking our data? Because unless we do it in the middle of the act we end up loosing the *reasonable force* protection and our acts become retributive and illegal. Perhaps we could create .gif images of a stabbing dagger. Something a little better than this: (It’s hideous isn’t it, but the best Google could provide.)

After I tweeted this question out earlier a response from Erika Pearson came back to me from all the way in New Zealand:

It’s a good idea…

Central Line Tourist Train

esceulus — Fri, 13 May 2011 09:56:41 +0000

Have TFL hired tour guides to drive the trains?

This morning (13th May) on the regular commute across the city the driver perked up with some lovely directions to various city locations, here’s the one that he said while I was typing:

“Good morning ladies and gentlemen, we will shortly be arriving at Chancery Lane. If you want to visit Fleet Street it’s just a short walk from the station, and it is such a lovely day.”

When we pulled into the station we had “this is the 10:04 Eastbound service to Ealing Broadway, the train will be leaving in half a minute”.

A nice little bit of information there for the frustrated commuter, they’ll be able to time their sigh properly and not be embarrassed when the train sets-off just as they begin complaining.

My all time favourite TFL voice has to be the platform announcer at Bethnal Green. Plucked from the DPRC, she bellows out instructions through the radio with complete disregard for a commuters narrow frame of aural input between the hours of 7 and 9am.

Her voice is somewhere between a strangled whale and the maid from Little Miss Jocelyn. Full of discord, haphazard tone changes and a desire to perform opera, badly. Nonetheless I love her. If for no greater reason than she confuses the white people that journey from a pale Essex commuter town, under the blended stress of east London and emerge in the stomach of the city to waddle through the serfs on their way to their pale and balding top floor boardrooms.